My diary
On our 2nd day in Dalat, we hired 2 scooters - D&T on one and myself on the other. Until this point, I had only ever observed the madness that is Vietnam city traffic but today was the day that I'd be caught up in it myself. To give you an idea of what it's like; traffic lights mean nothing, indicators mean nothing, roundabouts mean nothing and the majority of the bikes don't even have mirrors...basically just a free for all! We passed a car that actually played twinkle twinkle star as it reversed to let people know that it was there; not too sure what's wrong with a standard beeping sound but whatever floats your goat I guess. Over the course of the day we had seen a beautiful lake, Chinese temple, been in a cable car and somehow managed to drive our scooters down 2 sets of steps..! On arriving back to the hostel, Auntie Tracey informed me that I just had to try out the 'bum cleaning toilet' which also happened to have a heated seat. As I pressed the 'clean' button, I must have been sat in the wrong position because a powerful jet started spraying right up between my legs towards the ceiling...the worst bit was that it took me about 30 seconds to find the stop button amongst the hundreds of buttons on the controller!
Having witnessed my bus driver get off the bus to threaten someone with a crow bar, my journey out of Dalat and towards Nha Trang was a tense one.
The one where I fight with the toilet
April 10, 2018
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Dalat, Vietnam
On our 2nd day in Dalat, we hired 2 scooters - D&T on one and myself on the other. Until this point, I had only ever observed the madness that is Vietnam city traffic but today was the day that I'd be caught up in it myself. To give you an idea of what it's like; traffic lights mean nothing, indicators mean nothing, roundabouts mean nothing and the majority of the bikes don't even have mirrors...basically just a free for all! We passed a car that actually played twinkle twinkle star as it reversed to let people know that it was there; not too sure what's wrong with a standard beeping sound but whatever floats your goat I guess. Over the course of the day we had seen a beautiful lake, Chinese temple, been in a cable car and somehow managed to drive our scooters down 2 sets of steps..! On arriving back to the hostel, Auntie Tracey informed me that I just had to try out the 'bum cleaning toilet' which also happened to have a heated seat. As I pressed the 'clean' button, I must have been sat in the wrong position because a powerful jet started spraying right up between my legs towards the ceiling...the worst bit was that it took me about 30 seconds to find the stop button amongst the hundreds of buttons on the controller!
Having witnessed my bus driver get off the bus to threaten someone with a crow bar, my journey out of Dalat and towards Nha Trang was a tense one.
1.
The one where I'm unprepared
2.
The one where I people watch
3.
The one with the sweaty boys
4.
The one with the pickled slugs
5.
The one where I smell
6.
The one with pacing bears and bamboo grubs
7.
The one where I might have rabies
8.
The one with more Pad Thai
9.
The one with 762 curves
10.
The one with boobs
11.
The one with the wall of China
12.
The one where I'm full
13.
The one with the "cruise"
14.
The one with waterfalls
15.
The one with one too many waterfalls...
16.
The one where the bird dies
17.
The one with the Lao Lao
18.
The one where I discover bangers and mash
19.
The one with moody views
20.
The one with a girl, a bike and a big city
21.
The one where I'm offered a foetus kebab
22.
The one where I'm really lazy
23.
The one with dolphins in it
24.
The one with the virgin chicken
25.
The one where I eat a lot of pepper
26.
The one with the minty Carbonara
27.
The one where there's a bit o splash back
28.
The one where I'm at one with nature
29.
The one with the red chair restaurants
30.
The one with the disappointed tourists
31.
The one where it's not actually cake
32.
The one where I wait
33.
The one where I cross the border
34.
The one where there are tiny chairs at tiny tables
35.
The one where I fight with the toilet
36.
The one where there was "no roast duck" left
37.
The one with the fashionable poncho's
38.
The one with the broken scooter
39.
The one where I eat wild mushrooms
40.
The one where my kayak is full of coral
41.
The one with the giggling policemen
42.
The one where I am reunited with Pad Thai
43.
The one where everything is extortionate
44.
The one where I'm a bottomless pit
45.
The one where I apparently stink
46.
The one where he melted
47.
The one where Oasis perform live
48.
The one where my splinter is sterile
49.
The one where it comes to an end
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