The one where everything is extortionate

On arriving at the ferry port in Koh Samui, the sun was shining and the sea was glistening and then I needed a taxi...they were charging extortionate prices for just a 5 minute journey and after sitting down in an extortionate cafe to use their WiFi, their equivalent of Uber was not much cheaper...what have I gotten myself in to....? The island better be beautiful. On arriving at my extortionate hostel, I was greeted by a group of about 25 of the rowdiest, rudest, arrogentest (that's now a word) British teenagers that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. The hostel pool no longer looked so appealing so I wandered down to the nearest beach to escape the carnage, by which point the temperature had peaked and I was convinced that I was going to experience being cremated alive. I headed into the sea for a cool down, only to discover that the water was twice as hot as the warmest shower I have had in Asia. The only option left was to buy an extortionate coconut...After a couple of days on the island exploring by scooter, the

most impressive thing that locals could point me towards was a rock formation that looked vaguely like the genitals of a "Grandma and Grandpa"; just fabulous. At last, I did manage to find a beach where I was the only person on there but there was a reason for that, considering I have seen nicer beaches in Weston Super-Mare. In case you were yet to gather, this island is extremely touristy and to prove my case, on ordering an extortionate Pad Thai, I was produced with a fork and a spoon, rather than chopsticks...After 4 months in Asia, it's safe to say that I looked at these utensils as if they were murderers and had no idea how to eat noodles with such tools. On returning to Thailand, I would definitely pick one of the surrounding islands to explore but I guess my Koh Samui experience wasn't all that bad - After the large party left, I did manage some relaxing sunbathing time and met some great people who I had some great memorable, extortionate evenings with.