#Pigeons

Pigeons
James, “The ones with the clubfoot from standing in their own shit all the time, that’s sad!”

Just one of the insightful facts shared by my good friend James whilst in the car. The day was hot, we were going on an adventurous coastal walk in Maitland Bay National Park. When the walk was originally suggested to me, I was keen to take part. Exercise and exploring Australia! How wonderful!

The part I didn’t realise is that it was during a heat wave and we would be walking with next to no shelter along the coast. I tried to suggest driving along the coast as an alternative but James was geared up in his tragic looking Birkenstocks and a smile of excitement so rare upon the face of a Yorkshireman.

“Fine!” I caved in and stomped down through the tree lined forest. “This isn’t so bad after all!” I thought. Trees, downhill, it was all going so well.

We reached the end of the path that opened out onto a little beach. It was beautiful with its peacock blue water and buttery soft sand. “Can’t we just stay here?” I looked at the inviting waves. The temperature had risen as we reached mid-morning and it was sweltering.
“No come on! I think we have to go back up the hill though. This isn’t the start!”

If looks could kill, James would be dead. Luckily I tend to take bad news well so by the time we reached the car I’d stopped complaining about the false start. We drove on to the actual starting point and began the real walk. We found a gorgeous, much bigger beach and had a play in the waves! I forced James to take boomerang pictures of us jumping in the water and captured him doing the twist into the sand so his feet got swallowed up.

Although the heat still burned into us, the trees along the path provided some shelter from the sun and our conversation distracted me from my exploding pumping heart that has become accustomed to minimal effort being required of it. For lunch, we stopped at one of the beaches. It was a pebbly beach that was still wet but it had a cave that provided shade. I wanted to sit in the cave but the only bench-like seat was occupied by a crab with sharp pincers.

We sat on the soggy pebbles and ate the rolls that James had prepared as well as the vegetarian meat pie Pringles he had brought along. An oxymoron if you’ve ever seen one! A debate at the car as to whether we should Tim tam or not Tim tam also led to us eating

very, very, very melted chocolate biscuits and then dying of dehydration! I was a bit concerned about time as I knew I had to be at work in the afternoon so we pressed on.

From the top of the cliff we spotted palm beach with its famous light house. I reminisced about the last walk we did there and how much I moaned then too and wondered why 1. James still invites me to these things
And 2. Why I agree to go knowing I’ll surely die of heat exhaustion!

The ocean was littered with sailboats; although it was hot, we were lucky enough that a cool wind blew over the water and it forced the boats to tip dangerously from side to side. There was also a strange current in the middle where two currents hit each other from different angles and created a whirlpool in the centre. James suggested I go swim there to see what would happen. I suggested pushing him over the cliff to ‘see what would happen!’ As he drove there I thought the better of it, my phone was low on battery and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find my way to work on time! Plus there would be the whole “murder investigation,” and that would put a dampener on my holiday!

The next part was hot. Really hot! We had lost our shade and had to cross a beach. “It shouldn’t be too far away now! We just have to find the hidden path that takes us back to the road.” He showed me a photo, the old guy at the information centre had given him. It was a picture of some grass and trees!
“Really?!” The whole car park was surrounded by grass and trees! We found the opening of what could be a path and compared it to the picture. It was as close as we could find to a match so we moved along it.

It was like mountain climbing! I could have been back on that volcano but in 35 degrees with no water left! My face turned an unhealthy shade of red and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be sick or pass out. I clung onto trees and pushed on up and up! Why is everywhere in Australia on a flipping hill?! We literally rock climbed over boulders still not really knowing if after all this we would be at the road. “A house!” I shouted excitedly!

If nothing else we could at least catch an Uber from here! We found the road and after looking at my tomato face, James suggested going to fetch the car while I sat and cooled down under a tree.

Despite my homeless looking, ragged appearance, no one rushed out with juice and baked goods to save me! I’d come to a country where they’d rather let someone die alone under a tree to prove a point about sun safety than save another human! But I didn’t die and it wasn’t long before I was scoffing down a Mc flurry while James argued with me that ice cream is not used for medicinal purposes. But he was wrong! I was healed!