#TheUnfortunateCuddle

The next morning Erika had to catch her flight to Airlie beach leaving Jai and me to explore the Koala Sanctuary.

Job description of a Brisbane bus driver

Can you drive a bus? Yes
Do you have any social skills including being able to talk to humans? No
Hired!
Three times in one day we got told off by bus drivers! Well me just the once- mainly because when Jai was being told off, I went and hid, pretending I hadn't committed any bus offences!

Crime 1: eager to catch the correct bus, we checked out the timetable and found our stop. It had double doors leading onto the bay but when we stood in front of them they didn't open. Oh? We worried that the doors were broken or locked so we decided to find a set of open doors and go wait on the other side of the bay! We did not know however that we were committing a very serious offence until a bus driver got out to shout at us! His full fury hit Jai as I snuck back through another set of doors. I then joined the bus driver in scolding Jai. "How could you?!" I asked horrified!

Crime 2: this happened just minutes after the first offence. Both of us had a $20 note on us so we decided it would be fine if we payed for both $6.90 tickets together. We were wrong! This was also very unacceptable and the bus driver could not believe that we would have the audacity to assume he would have $3.10 change for each of us. Luckily Jai was able to scrape together just the right change and sent me to pay as he was too scared to feel the wrath of the bus driver once more!

The third crime was when I got off the greyhound to check which stop we were at. This was acceptable...until Jai followed me. "Can you get back on the bus?!" Again, all the fury aimed at Jai while I skipped happily back on the bus.

We arrived at the koala sanctuary and I immediately began to take pictures of absolutely everything including the tacky statues! One of our favourite animals was the platypus, I was thrilled to have seen one at last because last time I came to Aus, they had been sleeping and we couldn't see them in their enclosure.

The mission of the day was to have a photograph holding a koala, so I paid my $20 and stood in the long queue. Annoyingly, a bunch of school children cut in front of us. The first boy had a face like he was holding a pile of poo instead of a koala and did not look impressed by the fury friend on his lap.

Eventually it was my turn! I gave my camera to Jai and told him to take lots of photos incase I hate the one they take of me. I had practiced my hand position hoping to impress them with my natural ability for koala holding- they didn't comment on it! I put my feet on the foot markers and it was time! She slowly popped the chubby guy on my hand and wrapped his hands around my neck. I smiled obligingly for the photo until I felt something dropping onto my toe.
Poo, it was pooing on me, "He's pooing on me!" I told the woman sadly.

"It's alright, it's dropping on the ground!" It was not on the ground! Unless the ground had grown feet and has bright blue nail varnish!
Then it was over. She took him off me, leaving just the shame of being pooped on and my ticket to go and collect my photo.
The machine churned out a picture and it was placed on the counter. Staring at me was a morbidly obese, red faced evil twin of mine holding a koala with a smile in his eyes as he knew he had dropped his breakfast on my feet and he enjoyed it! "No! I can't display this photograph proudly for all to see!" I checked my camera, the same red faced beast with a pained expression stared back!
"I must go back!" I told Jai. He rolled his eyes exasperated but got some chips when I lined up again, this time just to stroke the koala (that was free!")

Between the koala photos we had also explored the rest of the park. One of my favourite places was the kangaroo field. They just chill in the open by logs and under the trees allowing you to take decent selfies and give them a stroke and a pat. I named one Kevin and became attached to him emotionally. I glared at others when they tried to pet my kangaroo, especially children! Kevin doesn't like children!

We also attended a falcon show where they released Satan's minions into the crowd. I was grateful to be near the back so that I didn't get a wing in the eye! Although they looked evil, they were pretty beautiful and amazingly skilled hunters. One of them was the fastest bird in the world and they demonstrated his speed to us. Out of nowhere he would sweep down as fast as light and grab the meat from the string.

There was also a cute owl that they said felt like marshmallow, I immediately wanted to eat the owl which I'm not sure is the point they were going for!

I looked at the new koala photos and felt satisfied that it was much better than the first! I also managed to put a filter on the original photo that took away some of the redness in my face so it was altogether a successful trip!

Once we returned to Brisbane, we headed back into the city to have a swim in the city pool.