(Written by Mitchell Hartas...he will receive no royalties for this if and when my diary becomes a best seller...)
The Review of Megan's Meringue: 3/5 stars
At first when the waitress/chef placed the gorgeously presented lemon meringue on our table I was full of hope and nervous trepidation. Such comments as it may have a "soggy bottom" were thrown around earlier which made me wary of this particular dessert. Alas I allowed my heart to swell with the desire for a well-balanced biscuit base and tangy yet fluffy centre. How little did I know of which was about to unfold.
As the dear, kind-hearted wait staff began to address the meringue with a knife in each hand I should have known that a train wreck was to occur and promptly disembarked at the next stop. But my hubris and morbid curiosity got the better of me and I had to stay on for the ride. It's safe to say that I've seen chimpanzees peel a banana with their feet more competently than this dear girl served the meringue with her two knives. Like a butcher carving through a carcass, the meringue was served piece by miserable piece onto each plate akin more to goulash than it was to a typical meringue. The meringue did in fact have a "soggy bottom".

Talk of using crumbed biscuit base versus powder biscuit was of little consequence to me. At that present moment all I could care about was my dessert and how I was going to salvage this disaster from being able to use a fork compared to a straw. I offered the dear waitress to get a spatula instead of her favoured dual knife approach. I was responded to with a level of hostility that I was unaccustomed to, as my idea of logic and reason was too far-fetched to be used in this situation. Thankfully for us, all I had the resolve to follow through on my idea which quickly followed with more passable serving of meringue to each of our guests. It appeared to be crisis adverted. The waitress now equipped with more appropriate tools was able to dish up our dessert in a timely manner, all that was left was to actually try the "goop" labelled meringue in front of us.

On first taste post-re-assembliment of all the vital aspects onto my fork I was pleasantly surprised. If this had been a blind taste test I would have been very impressed. If anything I was more so by the notion of being able to look down at the literal mess on my plate and the experience of the beautiful citrus and biscuit in my mouth. Albeit without my prior knowledge that this dessert came assembly required and no instructions in the box.

Overall my experience with Megan's meringue was an interesting one. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover and I honestly believe that after sampling dear Megan's creation. Whilst Frankenstein's monster reincarnate on viewing, Megan's meringue provided the much needed flavoursome kick to my evening. For that reason, I've given Megan "Knife fingers'" Meringue 3 stars out of 5 and would definitely recommend the experience to anyone who loves a little heart in mouth/edge of the seat/crying with laughter after-dinner entertainment that ends with a sweet surprise.