#Factor50Shades Darker
It’s Friday and it’s almost time for my flight to Phuket. I’m packed and munching on pineapple biscuits in my hostel, chatting to a guy from the Lake District when my taxi arrives.
It’s an hour later and I’m cramming chips into my face and looking anxiously at the board for my flight to show, I drop a chip on my lap but no one notices so I eat it anyway. "Please be on time!" I prayed silently to the plane gods. My history of delayed planes when meeting Ocea and Simon is not good so far and I have a connection to make that I really can’t miss!
I needn’t have been so nervous. The plane took off on time and I almost relaxed as I was feeling excited about future wine, good food and great company. Touch down. I had an hour and a half to collect my bag and re-check in. “A watched bag never arrives!” I told myself as the carousel ambled past me for the tenth time still not carrying my bag.
Urrrg!! Hurry up!! Yes! There it was, the lazy little sh... no time to cuss at my bag! I grabbed it and pretty much ran to my check in. I now only had 15 minutes until the gate opened for boarding. Finally, after reaching my gate, I began to relax. Milly text me abusive messages and I reminded her that if I was to die on the plane she would feel bad. She reassured me that she wouldn’t ...sigh! I expect a lot of mourning in the event of my death! Some people want bright colours and a party; I expect people to dress in black veils for years and weep dramatically to Coldplay songs.
I was shaken out of my thoughts of my funeral by an announcement. “Bing Bong! All passengers travelling to Phuket kaa, the flight will be boarding at 6:10 kaa.” Okay, not too late, I text Ocea to let her know.
Eventually we boarded the plane. I snuggled into my budget airline seat with my knees pressing into my tray table and read my book. We waited...nothing, more waiting...still nothing. Hmmm, I checked the time 6:30. No WiFi, can’t tell Ocea I’m delayed. By 7pm I had an uncontrollable bubble of rage filling my chest.
“When is this f*cking plane going to take off?!” I asked the woman next to me. She didn’t respond, just looked a little frightened.
God I need wine! 10 minutes after the time we were due to land, the plane took off. Once airborne, all I could do was wait but my anger didn’t subside. All I wanted to do was cry into my tiny plane pillow and feel sorry for myself for no reason. Then a guardian angel appeared. Well it was just a drinks' menu but that meant wine!
I fussed around in my bumbag and pulled out some cash. Okay, menu...soft drinks, water, crisps... There seems to be a problem with the menu, it appears to be missing the wine section. There’s no wine on the plane. “THERES NO WINE ON THE PLANE!” I panicked.
I looked at my watch, we should be landing soon and then I can have wines. The wheels hit the ground with such a force that people actually screamed and this time it was the lady next to me’s turn to swear. My bag was one of the first to come out this time and I quickly made my way to meet Ocea.
Ahhh!! We hugged with our smiles stretched across our faces.
Once we arrived at our hotel, we wasted no time in tracking down wine and food.
“Yes kind sir, we’ll have a bottle of your finest Merlot.”
“No alcohol kaa!”
A flash of panic jolted through us like lightning.
“I’m sorry?” Ocea pressed. “We can’t have wine...or any alcohol?” She paled.
“No kaa, it is king’s birthday and Buddha holiday. You can not drink two days.”
Now purple, “So, we cannot drunk until Sunday? The day we leave?” Ocea clarified.
The woman nodded looking frightened and then ran away to avoid being attacked.
“Surly you can last a weekend without alcohol!” Simon exclaimed.
Like a deranged owl, Ocea turned her head towards him. Her eyes burnt into his like flames. This was not the correct thing to have said. Simon became silent.
Now aggressively shaking, “It’s fine! We don’t need wine. We have ...each other and that’s ...all that matters.” We pretended to be convinced by the speech and enjoyed our Massaman curries and fruit juices.
Back at the hotel, we admired our rooms. I had gone from sharing a bunk bed and a communal shower to a king size bed and a bath complete with hotel bath robe and a
juliemegan
55 chapters
#Where’sTheWineMenu?
July 27, 2018
|
Phuket
It’s Friday and it’s almost time for my flight to Phuket. I’m packed and munching on pineapple biscuits in my hostel, chatting to a guy from the Lake District when my taxi arrives.
It’s an hour later and I’m cramming chips into my face and looking anxiously at the board for my flight to show, I drop a chip on my lap but no one notices so I eat it anyway. "Please be on time!" I prayed silently to the plane gods. My history of delayed planes when meeting Ocea and Simon is not good so far and I have a connection to make that I really can’t miss!
I needn’t have been so nervous. The plane took off on time and I almost relaxed as I was feeling excited about future wine, good food and great company. Touch down. I had an hour and a half to collect my bag and re-check in. “A watched bag never arrives!” I told myself as the carousel ambled past me for the tenth time still not carrying my bag.
Urrrg!! Hurry up!! Yes! There it was, the lazy little sh... no time to cuss at my bag! I grabbed it and pretty much ran to my check in. I now only had 15 minutes until the gate opened for boarding. Finally, after reaching my gate, I began to relax. Milly text me abusive messages and I reminded her that if I was to die on the plane she would feel bad. She reassured me that she wouldn’t ...sigh! I expect a lot of mourning in the event of my death! Some people want bright colours and a party; I expect people to dress in black veils for years and weep dramatically to Coldplay songs.
I was shaken out of my thoughts of my funeral by an announcement. “Bing Bong! All passengers travelling to Phuket kaa, the flight will be boarding at 6:10 kaa.” Okay, not too late, I text Ocea to let her know.
Eventually we boarded the plane. I snuggled into my budget airline seat with my knees pressing into my tray table and read my book. We waited...nothing, more waiting...still nothing. Hmmm, I checked the time 6:30. No WiFi, can’t tell Ocea I’m delayed. By 7pm I had an uncontrollable bubble of rage filling my chest.
“When is this f*cking plane going to take off?!” I asked the woman next to me. She didn’t respond, just looked a little frightened.
God I need wine! 10 minutes after the time we were due to land, the plane took off. Once airborne, all I could do was wait but my anger didn’t subside. All I wanted to do was cry into my tiny plane pillow and feel sorry for myself for no reason. Then a guardian angel appeared. Well it was just a drinks' menu but that meant wine!
I fussed around in my bumbag and pulled out some cash. Okay, menu...soft drinks, water, crisps... There seems to be a problem with the menu, it appears to be missing the wine section. There’s no wine on the plane. “THERES NO WINE ON THE PLANE!” I panicked.
I looked at my watch, we should be landing soon and then I can have wines. The wheels hit the ground with such a force that people actually screamed and this time it was the lady next to me’s turn to swear. My bag was one of the first to come out this time and I quickly made my way to meet Ocea.
Ahhh!! We hugged with our smiles stretched across our faces.
Once we arrived at our hotel, we wasted no time in tracking down wine and food.
“Yes kind sir, we’ll have a bottle of your finest Merlot.”
“No alcohol kaa!”
A flash of panic jolted through us like lightning.
“I’m sorry?” Ocea pressed. “We can’t have wine...or any alcohol?” She paled.
“No kaa, it is king’s birthday and Buddha holiday. You can not drink two days.”
Now purple, “So, we cannot drunk until Sunday? The day we leave?” Ocea clarified.
The woman nodded looking frightened and then ran away to avoid being attacked.
“Surly you can last a weekend without alcohol!” Simon exclaimed.
Like a deranged owl, Ocea turned her head towards him. Her eyes burnt into his like flames. This was not the correct thing to have said. Simon became silent.
Now aggressively shaking, “It’s fine! We don’t need wine. We have ...each other and that’s ...all that matters.” We pretended to be convinced by the speech and enjoyed our Massaman curries and fruit juices.
Back at the hotel, we admired our rooms. I had gone from sharing a bunk bed and a communal shower to a king size bed and a bath complete with hotel bath robe and a
balcony that overlooked the too skinny (disgruntled trip adviser reviewer’s opinion) pool.
Little black men crawled from ropes above my bed, I was unsure if they were coming down for a spoon sesh or running hastily away from me. (I should probably mention that they were sculptures and not midgets tied up and attached to a wall for the delights of single travelers to prod their bottoms) which of course I did, again, to the sculpture people, not real people...
Maybe I did have wine? ...anyway! To cut a long story short, I went to bed feeling pretty damn happy with my new surroundings.
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