Prologue

In June 2019, part-time adventurer Lexie Fall heard the call of the wild. She felt trapped on a carousel of house renovations, dinner parties, school lunches, ski trips and being bossed around by Sam Wood at 6:30 every morning. Besides, Melbourne was cold and dark. Everyone, everywhere was having a better time than this; their socmed feeds proved it. (Socmed = social media.)

"Chester dear," she said one night. "Could you pause Love Island for a minute? I have a proposal for you!"

Chester, the father of Lexie's children and her favourite shopping partner, paused the television with a hint of frustration. It was short-lived. Lexie was wearing her old backpack and her favourite gaiters, which could only mean ... Adventure, with a capital Cost.

"Darling," he breathed. "Are we going to Love Island?"

"No," she said. "We're going to Italy on a scientific expedition. We're going to cross the country, coast to coast, from Rome to Florence, and map the unexplored wilderness in between. We'll take the children to help carry stuff and complain, we'll give ridiculous Latin names to the species we discover, and we'll conquer mountains in the name of our politicans. We'll become important historical figures on socmed."

"Splendid!" yelled Chester. "Because I'm starting to think this Love Island thing is scripted!"

Their children, Leo and Archie, were very excited by the upcoming adventure. Leo, 12 and almost 13, was showing promise as an ornithologist. "I'll be able to check out heaps of exotic birds," he said wisely as he packed his binoculars.

Archie, just turned 11 and a keen walker, was equally enthused. "I'll be able to reach 30,000 steps each day for a month," he observed. "We'll need to carry a lot of ice-cream."

And so it was settled. They would depart on June 8th for Italy, on
La Gestazione Salvaggia – 'The Wild Gesticulation'.

Lexie Fall, Expedition Leader
Chester Henderson, Navigator & Scribe
Leo Henderson, Wildlife & Artwork
Archie Henderson, Transport, Logistics & Nutrition

The journey was inspired by a map Lexie found at a deceased estate sale. The deceased was a kindly, old woman with a wistful air. She used to lean on her front gate at dusk and talk to anyone who stopped about the mysterious, unexplored interior of her homeland, Italy.

Most people thought she was mad, us included, because Italy had featured on Getaway several times. It also seemed unlikely that the Cheesy Regions she spoke of could possibly exist.

But when Lexie found the ancient map hidden inside a 1973 Franco Cozzo catalogue, it looked like there may be some element of truth in those front gate tales ...

From the expedition leader:

"When I found the map I immediately felt my destiny. This was meant to be. I am perfectly qualified for it. Some people never find their true calling, so I am very fortunate indeed."

Lexie Ellen Fall (1971 – present) CV of Adventuring

1990 Ballarat – Founded a walking tour of all 52 pubs.

1992 Camp America – Assistant Director, Protection of Children from Snapping Turtle Attack and Removal of Leeches from Orifii

1995–97 SE Asia & India – Established a rhinoceros sanctuary.

2002 Vietnam – Made first contact with a hill tribe and purchased colourful handcrafted items from them.

2004 Middle East & Balkans – Studied the possibility of a trade relationship between Ancient Egypt and Antarctica.

2006 Condobolin (NSW) – Navigated the Lachlan River on a mobility scooter.

2012 Bali – First crossing of the interior by air-conditioned minivan.