We began the wedding day with a traditional breakfast of Coco Pops, Nutella pastries, chocolate cake and donuts, followed by a hastily convened bucks party. How we wished for our lost clothes! Luckily Leo found some synthetic purple pants at the flea market.

The gown and cake were big, enough to clothe and feed the whole village. The ceremony was beautiful, with the bride landing on the beach astride a gorgeous, black wasp (Vespas Piaggius).

During the reception, Aurora took issue with the expectation that she smile for photos, and when the band didn't know any Type O Negative, she became positively violent and began to smash the place up. We locked ourselves in a cave toilet, ate our way through the wall and slipped out of town on our raft.

We noticed later that she 'liked' our socmed photos (next page).