Introducing Mary

One evening, as we kept vigil on the recliners beside the swollen river, Lexie mentioned she had noticed a gradual thickening around her middle regions. Just then, a shooting star arced across the sky – clearly a sign from the gods that Lexie was pregnant!

That explained why so many Italians kept saying 'prego' to us.

It was certainly an immaculate conception, caused by the lightning strike Lexie copped on Mount Pellissimo. We always refrain from intimate relations while adventuring, allowing us to plan and execute efficiently. And we always stink to high heaven.

Without getting too far ahead of ourselves, we've decided to name her Mary. As she will be spending her life in Dubai, she'll be wearing a veil of some sort. We can already imagine what she's going to look like ...

We'd been intending to mark our trail across Italy so future adventurers could follow in our footsteps, but hadn't settled on a suitable method. Mary was the answer. We'd place little statues, frescoes and stencils of her as trail markers wherever we went.

With plenty of time to kill, we set to work carving numerous statues and stencil templates of her as we waited by the swollen river. It was therapeutic to say the least.