I don’t have a lot to tell. It is hard for me to think about something to write about. Sometimes I wonder if I do it correct. That’s my problem. I wonder too much, think too much, but I don’t ask a lot. I want to do things correctly, but I don’t ask for help a lot. Before coming to Spain my mentor asked me about it. He asked if I was raised this way. Indirectly, yes. My mother’s family didn’t have the money for her to go to school. Afterwards, she stepped into a bad marriage. So she has teached me that I should be an independent, strong woman, who shouldn’t be depending on a man. My career has to come first. Maybe, that is why I don’t like asking for help. It is not that I don’t like asking it, it is that I just don’t do it.

Here in Spain, I do. I changed all my ways here. I want to grow, I want to learn. It is easy to do things differently here, because it is a new start.

Sometimes it is hard, and you can only ask your good friends for help. Two weeks ago, I had a rough period because my roommates left. But also, I had some money problems. I am not an Erasmus student, and I am going to an privet university, which is more expensive than the college fees I am paying in The Netherlands. My mother is a cleaning lady, she can’t help me a lot. And my father… Well, in his opinion he has better things to do with his money.. Because I had to pay college in two countries, without a scholarship, it was hard sometimes. Because I am not here to pay everything and sit in my room all day, I want to see things, travel, enjoy, life! But I went on a few weekend trips, and I bought two tickets to Spain. For my mother and my brother. She doesn’t have the money to come, so she asked me to come to Holland. But my mother never really travelled, because when she was together with my father, he didn’t want her to go alone, but he also didn’t want to travel with her. I wanted her to enjoy, to see what I see, to understand why I love this city. So I bought her two tickets. But since I didn’t really count my money, I was left with just 11 euros. And I had to wait for two more weeks for my payment to come. How was I going to survive that? Now I had to ask for help, and ask for money. I don’t like borrowing money, and who likes lending money? Who has money to lend. Most of my good friends are all students.

But I was hungry, and I didn’t have money. Thinking back about it, this was a really bad situation. But thank God, I knew I could survive. I am blessed with the people around me, and the life that I have. I guess that you can even grow in your bad days. It is good to have a reality check sometimes.