Japan, Take 2

Ugh.

I dunno, I think I might be done with Japan.

Who would have thought, right?

This past month has been a tough tailspin, as I had originally hoped to extend my research scholarship to continue with a PhD, but it's not looking like it will happen.

Which means I've spent the past month trying to find alternatives, but not succeeding since I would be have the same problem with any other school/department with my lack of academic writing samples.

I think I have always needed someone to care and push me and support me in my ideas, a proper sounding board and support, but have never had anyone like that.

The only time I felt like I had someone who was in sync with me and offered the support I needed was with Linda, when we did all those stupid BSF pranks. That was the first time I wasn't catering to someone else's whim, but had someone assist me with mine.

I just need someone to care enough.

I'm tired of being alone in my thoughts. But I have always been alone.

I've fallen back into my habit of hiding.

I am tired of being alone.

I'm not effective alone.

Evelyn Leung

56 chapters

16 Apr 2020

November 19

November 19, 2018

Ugh.

I dunno, I think I might be done with Japan.

Who would have thought, right?

This past month has been a tough tailspin, as I had originally hoped to extend my research scholarship to continue with a PhD, but it's not looking like it will happen.

Which means I've spent the past month trying to find alternatives, but not succeeding since I would be have the same problem with any other school/department with my lack of academic writing samples.

I think I have always needed someone to care and push me and support me in my ideas, a proper sounding board and support, but have never had anyone like that.

The only time I felt like I had someone who was in sync with me and offered the support I needed was with Linda, when we did all those stupid BSF pranks. That was the first time I wasn't catering to someone else's whim, but had someone assist me with mine.

I just need someone to care enough.

I'm tired of being alone in my thoughts. But I have always been alone.

I've fallen back into my habit of hiding.

I am tired of being alone.

I'm not effective alone.



1.

Foreword

2.

72 Seasons of Japan: 雪下出麦 Beneath the Snow the Wheat Sprouts (January 1-5)

3.

Pheasants are like peacocks, right? 雉始雊 The Pheasant's First Calls (January 16-20)

4.

January 21-24 款冬華 The Butterbur flowers

5.

January 25-29 水沢腹堅 Mountain Streams Freeze

6.

January 30-February 3 鶏始乳 The Hens start laying eggs

7.

February 4-8 東風解凍 Spring winds thaw the ice

8.

February 9-13 黄鶯睍睆 The Nightingale Sings

9.

February 14-18 魚上氷 Fish Rise from the Ice

10.

February 19-23 土脉潤起 The Earth becomes Damp

11.

February 24-28 霞始靆 Haze First Covers the Sky

12.

March 1–5 草木萌動 Plants Show First Buds

13.

March 6–10 蟄虫啓戸 Hibernating Creatures Open their Doors

14.

March 11–15 桃始笑 The First Peach Blossoms

15.

March 16–20 菜虫化蝶 Leaf Insects become Butterflies

16.

March 21-25 雀始巣 The Sparrow Builds her Nest

17.

March 26-30 櫻始開 The First Cherry Blossoms

18.

March 31-April 4 雷乃発声 Thunder Raises its Voice

19.

April 5-9 玄鳥至 The Swallows Arrive

20.

April 10-14 鴻雁北 Geese Fly North

21.

April 15-19 虹始見 The First Rainbow Appears

22.

April 20-24 葭始生 The First Reeds Grow

23.

April 25-29 霜止出苗 The Frost Stops; The Rice Grows

24.

April 30- May 4 牡丹華 The Tree Peony Flowers

25.

May 5-9 蛙始鳴 The First Frogs Call

26.

May 10-14 蚯蚓出 The Earth Worms Rise

27.

May 15-20 竹笋生 Bamboo Shoots Appear

28.

May 21-25 蚕起食桑 The Silk Worm Awakes and Eats the Mulberry

29.

May 26-30 紅花栄 The Safflower Blossoms

30.

May 31-June 5 麦秋至 The Time for Wheat

31.

June 5 - June 9 蟷螂生 The Praying Mantis Hatches

32.

June 10 - 15 腐草為螢 Fireflies rise from the Rotten Grass

33.

June 16 - 20 梅子黄 The Plums turn Yellow

34.

June 21 - June 25 乃東枯 The common Self-Heal Dries (Summer Solstice)

35.

June 26 - June 30 菖蒲華 The Iris Flowers

36.

July 1 - July 6 半夏生 The Crow-dipper Sprouts

37.

July 7 - July 11 温風至 Hot Winds Blow

38.

July 12 - July 16 蓮始開 The First Lotus Blossoms

39.

July 17 - July 21 鷹乃学習 The Young Hawk Learns to Fly

40.

July 22 - July 27 桐始結花 The First Paulownia Fruit Ripen

41.

July 28 - Aug 1 土潤溽暑 Damp Earth Humid Heat (Major Heat)

42.

Aug 2 - Aug 6 大雨時行 Heavy Rain Showers

43.

Aug 7 - Aug 11 涼風至 A cool Wind blows (First Autumn)

44.

Aug 12 - Aug 16 寒蝉鳴 The Evening Cicada Sings

45.

Aug 17 - Aug 22 蒙霧升降 Thick Fog Blankets the Sky

46.

Aug 23 - Aug 27 綿柎開 The Cotton Lint Opens (Limit of Heat)

47.

Aug 28 - Sept 1 天地始粛 Earth & Sky Begin to Cool

48.

Sept 2 - Sept 6 禾乃登 The Rice Ripens

49.

Sept 7 - Sept 11 草露白 Dew Glistens White on Grass

50.

Sept 12 - Sept 16 鶺鴒鳴 Wagtails Sing

51.

Sept 17 - Sept 21 玄鳥去 Swallows Leave

52.

Sept 22 - Sept 27 雷乃収声 Thunder Ceases (Autumn Equinox)

53.

Sept 28 - Oct 2 蟄虫坏戸 Insects hole up Underground

54.

Oct 3 - Oct 7 水始涸 Farmers Drain Fields

55.

Oct 8 - Oct 12 鴻雁来 The Geese Arrive

56.

November 19

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