Day 5: Animal Kingdom

During our last day in Thailand, we decided it was time to return to the outdoors and see the magnificent animals that make this region so popular.

Our first stop was the elephant sanctuary, a haven for Northern Taiwanese Elephants to escape their stressful and perilous lives in the wild to be free to do what they truly love: performing for tourists. In all seriousness, the acrobatic and artistic feats these elephants performed far exceeded any talent we believed animals to be capable of. Elephants the size of small houses stood on their front two legs, kicked soccer balls into goals, spun hula-hoops on their tusks, and in a display that left us speechless, painted portraits of themselves with remarkable accuracy.

Still in shock from what we had just witnessed, we then had the opportunity to ride the elephants through a trail in the woods, feeding them sugar cane along the way, and relishing in the profile picture opportunities. After a truly forgettable oxcart ride, we soaked in the beautiful thai jungle surrounding us on a sleepy bamboo rafting voyage that devolved into us launching a misshapen coconut back and forth between our two rafts, much to the delight of our guides.

As if seeing elephants paint better wasn’t enough, we then made our way towards Tiger Kingdom. After signing away any sort of legal ground we had to stand on in the case of an emergency, we voluntarily placed ourselves in a cage with a massive bengali tiger

and two young employees with sick senses of humor. We watched in both awe and fear as the tiger released its claws and chased a palm frond around the cage the way a cat would chase a ball of yarn. Having come so close to death, we then calmed ourselves down the only way we knew how: with thai milk tea, smoothies, and magnum ice cream.

For dinner, we headed towards the riverfront to the TripAdvisor recommended restaurant Paak Dang. Much to Pelz’s chagrin, we spent more than we would spend eating on the street to enjoy the best curries we had tasted thus far.

We then headed to the night market, where the second annual wellness retreat’s first annual secret santa was held. We were each randomly assigned a member of the group to buy a gift for, which they were required to wear during our trip to Phuket. Notable highlights included a women’s sun hat which was notably impossible to pack into a carry-on and thus had to be worn regularly, a T-shirt that said “Dr. Jihad,” and a bracelet encouraging the oh so famous Thai Ladyboys to treat the wearer to an unforgettable night.

Our new gifts/punishments in hand, we retreated one final time to the Oxotel for a night of much needed sleep, as the following day we would be leaving Chiangmai for the wonders of Siem Reap and Angkor Wat.