Part 8: Rivergods cruise on the Zambezi for 5 glorious days

We left Harare from Charles Prince International Airport for the next leg of our journey to Churundu, the starting point of our Rivergod’s tour on the Zambezi.

We were greeted by Ed our pilot and the owner of Exec Air………. Fixer Innes was of course mates with Ed. We all signed a sheet of paper which equalled “check in”and boarded the Cessna Caravan we had chartered. Ed seemed very sensible and trustworthy yet had recruited Pat as his co-pilot. What was he doing!!? Would she hold

the map the right way up?

In Fixer Innes’ honour, Ed decided to fly the Cessna like a helicopter! So we flew at height of 180 feet giving us fabulous views of the terrain. Sadly where rhinos once roamed in abundance they were few and far between. The landscape was also strewn with farms that once formed part of the bread basket of Africa but were now derelict or had been reduced to subsistence farming only. Sadly post Mugabe this decline continues.

We flew north for about an hour until the mighty Zambezi came into view at Churundu. Ed landed the plane on a dirt air strip by the side of the river where two gleaming white landcruisers swept us up. A short drive took us to the Rivergod house boat which was to be our home for the next 5 days. The boat was built for navigating the shallow waters of the mighty Zambezi and was equipped to keep the Adventurers in the sort of luxury to which they aspired ie it had a bar with plenty of cold beer and gin!

The boat is best described by the sketches and pictures. The solar

panels on the sleeping pods gave us constant power for the first time since our arrival in Zim!

Before dwelling on some of the highlights of the Rivergod experience, let’s introduce the staff who ensured our enjoyment was off the scale. Guy was our leader and guide, Chado was the Masterchef and Norman aka was Mr Do It All and Chief Smiler.

Now that Guy was our leader Fixer Innes could relax and return to being “just Ron”……I think he was relieved!

Churundu town sits on the Zim side of the Zambezi just east of the

Kariba Lake. It is a major gateway to Zambia. From here we navigated up stream for circa 230km to within 40Km of Mozambique. Here are some of the things we saw and did.

Wildlife (see mindmaps of animals and birds seen): Unlike on the flight from Harare we saw an abundance of animal and bird species on the riverbanks, sandbanks and islands……especially hippos, they were everywhere! The shallow waters must be ideal for amorous males to “lurve” their slippery and weighty mates! As we floated along the river we saw large pods of hippos everywhere……..if they felt disturbed on the banks they would plunge into the water sequentially, like blubbery decks of cards………..I think their motto was “one in all in!”

There was simply no escape from them…..they would appear at the stern of the boat when we were taking a shower………methinks they appreciated the curvature of the human posterior!!

Elephants crossed to and fro from island to island and riverbank to riverbank…………crocs slithered everywhere. There was always

something to watch…………it seemed like we were in our own personal animal kingdom as we seldom saw another soul.

The birdlife was also glorious……….from impressively large Goliath Herons and Fish Eagles to brightly coloured Glossy Starlings and Bee-eaters. A rare sight was a flock of Lillian Love Birds which usually only appear in pairs or small groups.

Fishing: With the exception of Ron, none of us were keen fishermen. However our luxury riverboat came with a specialised tender designed for fishing in the shallows and Guy turned out to be a brilliant angler and a great teacher………so there was no escape.

On day two, Ron, Ian and Guy went off in the tender and came back with 24 sizeable bream. Fantastic for us as we had fish and chips for supper. Not so good for Chado as it took him 90 mins to skin, gut and

fillet the whole lot! Now the link between fishing and eating was made, everyone became keener to fish! In further fishing sorties, everyone successfully landed more bream (and other species) which were turned into massive plates of goujons by Chado……..delish bombish!

However it wasn’t just the eating of our spoils which was great, where we fished was also beautiful. One morning Guy took us to a perfect culvet with overhanging trees creating shadows where the fish would hide. As we got our tackle sorted out and began to fish we were joined by Egrets and Goliath Herons demonstrating their superior fishing skills. They would stand motionless for minutes on end before spearing an unsuspecting quarry with their razor sharp beaks. Magical! Buffalos and crocs also looked on.........must have been after a cold beer!

We also tried tiger fishing…………a different ball game involving a different technique. Once you have a tiger on the line you have to let it run………patience is needed before you strike. They can run for 50 metres or more, swim under the boat and cross over other lines………we of course managed all of these things and lost most of them. However getting a runner and landing one of these big and powerful fish was exhilarating. Much to Ron’s chagrin, Ian caught a mahusive tiger fish and he got pissed when the size of his catch did not compare well. Ron was further upset when Ian offered to help Ron improve his technique! Get in!

Charging elephants…….holy moly!: Guy arranged a game drive for us at Trichlia Camp on the Zambian side of the river……..this turned out to be another amazeballs experience for unexpected reasons. On entering the camp we were confronted by a “tame” hippo, imaginatively named “Hippy the Hippo”! He nonchalantly wandered

around the sitting area as if we were not there and at night Hippy slept by the tents especially if there were women inside………as we know female pheromones have super powers!

Trichlia Camp lies on the Zambezi flood plain, however it had not seen any water since 2010. The ground was bare and there was a clear browse line on the tree line where the animals had stripped off anything edible. The Park Rangers were putting out feed to ensure survival. Rain was nor due to appear fora another 4 months, if at all. The only upside was that the animals were easy to see in this baron landscape.

Guy drove us around the reserve where there were many impala, kudou, water bucks and vervet monkeys. Then he suggested we go for a wander on foot……….he armed himself with his shotgun and instructed us to keep quiet (yes Ian Brindle…..Quiet!!) and to stay behind him at all times. The impala etc continued in their relentless search for greenery when a large bull elephant spotted us. Guy stopped and motioned for us to be silent. The bull was looking at us intently and then started to advance towards us. Guy whispered that if an elephant's tail is down all is Ok but if its sticking out to the side you are in trouble……so far so good but while we were contemplating the angle of the dangle our pachyderm friend starting accelerating forward. Guy put his hand up high and yelled “HA” at the top of his voice. The elephant was close…………very close……like

20 feet away close, towering over us! It was squeaky bum time. Guy shouted several times before the elephant stopped advancing. I was transfixed but somehow Jan managed to take some brilliant photos which show our “close encounter” in its full glory. The "elephantine face off" lasted for what seemed like a minute before the bull turned and strutted off. Holy Moly!!!

The day after this encounter when our sphincters had just about recovered, Guy took us on an early morning bush walk on Chikwenkya Island………a 9km long sandbank in the middle of the Zambezi. We followed elephant and antelope spoor through the trees and scrub.

It was exhilarating. Guy showed us piles of impala droppings or “impala toilets” which the females created when in oestrous. The idea was to give the males a bit of a clue that it was time to stop munching leaves and “get on it!!”. We then saw a troup of 11 elephants with a very young calf calmly chomping on the vegetation……….totes beautiful.

Guy spotted a young bull elephant (he was still bloody huge!) or rather he spotted us! At first he was coy and circled behind a tree and before turning to begin a charge. What was it about the Adventurers…….was it those pheromones again?!!

This young bull got closer to us than the elephant did the day before. Even Guy took the safety off his rifle as he shouted at the beast at the top of his voice. In fact the elephant was so close no one managed to take a photo……. we were all too busy making ourselves look invisible behind Guy. Pretty tough when one of the Adventurers looks like the BFG! Fortunately the elephant stopped with his tail flicking back and forth and his ears flapping menacingly. After what seemed a long time, he turned away and trumpeted triumphantly. Double Holy Moly!!

Later Guy said the bull was just a belligerent teenager full of testosterone just having fun. Yeah right……thats why he took the safety off his rifle!

Dinners on the sandbanks of the Zambezi and Ron has delusions of grandeur: Our evening meals were always a delight. Late afternoon the boat would be moored up on a sandy bank and Norman and Chado (usually with Trev the Firestarter’s help) would get a fire going. The Sundowner Gin and Tonic team aka Terry, Diane , Jan and Pat would swing into action and cold beers would be had while the sun set. While we were relaxing, Chado would work his culinery magic. Delicious fish and chips has already been mentioned, however one night Chado delivered roast pork with proper crackling and crispy roast potatoes (my mouth is watering as I write this!). Chado used a “Cobb”. which is a large, lidded, metal turine that sits on a meshed base full of hot coals. Wowee!

Our roast dinner meal rounded off a brilliant couple of days on a

beach some 40 km from Mozambique. Ron decided to claim this place was of such significance it should be renamed “Innes Landing!!”. Obviously ‘king Ron was having delusions of grandeur……and so much for not being the Fixer!

Innes Landing was to be our last camp of our journey into the Zambezi wilderness. It was idyllic and deserted apart from ourselves and the Rivergod crew.

While we were there Jan and I got the chance to tiger fish in the afternoon sun on another beautiful sandbank just upstream from Innes Landing. We settled into chairs drinking cold beers, cast our lines and waited for the fish to bite. Serene! Jan got a couple of nibbles but no runners…………Jon was a little luckier and landed a modest sized Tiger fish. Get in!

All good things must come to an end: On our last morning two motor launches arrived to speed us back to Taka Camp’s airstrip and the awaiting Ed and Exec Air. It was a chilly but exhilarating ride and on the way said goodbye to hundreds of hippos, plus antelopes, monkeys crocs and fish eagles which had become our everyday eye candy while with the Rivergods.

Ed ushered us on board the Cessna and selected Jan as co-pilot this time……..we loved this private plane lark! The quartermaster dipped into her cavernous handbag and pulled out more sweets and mixed nuts. How does she do it!? Must be a tardis bag! After take off we circled back for a birdseye view of the impressively wide Zambezi. Wow what a trip this had been. One hour later we were back at Harare airport.