Here I am in at Days Inn in Atlanta Georgia. Tomorrow I will be picked up by Ron Brown, who will Shuttle me to the Appalachian Trail head at Springer Mountain to start my 3 month, 1000 mile journey on foot. The Appalachian Trail is 2190 miles in length of which I hope to hike to the half way point at Harper's Ferry West Virginia.
After many days of trepidation the day to leave for my Appalachian trail hike finally arrived! I would not have been on that plane, if not for the encouragement of my wife Sharon. The past few weeks I have been waking up with anxiety attacks and a sense of impending doom. This is my depression and anxiety talking and there is no reasoning with it. Every morning I cancelled my hike in my mind. After 6 years or so of being unemployed and basically house bound, it felt overwhelmingly terrifying to me. I know it sounds crazy for someone who has traveled the world, hiked and gone on canoe trips since I was a teenager. This is the thing about depression. A truthful
and logical train of thought is quickly derailed, as negative feelings swell to the surface and heave the track into a mangled mess of bent steel. Feelings overpower reality every time. The feelings of darkness from depression come out of nowhere, for no seemingly logical reason and no specific time table; but with relentless consistency and persuasive oppression that sucks away your very breath.
However! I believe that the moment my boots hit the trail tomorrow all will be well. I hope and pray that as I walk in the splendor of nature these next weeks, the layers of hurt and pain will wash off and be replaced by the peace and love of God.
I Will be posting every 5 or so days whenever I walk through one of the many small towns. My goal is to use this as a way to process what I have been through in the past few years as well as share my adventure.
"When your desire to go forward becomes greater than the memories of your past, you’ll begin to live again. Purpose always overcomes pain! Solomon said, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). Until you have a vision of tomorrow, you’ll always live in yesterday’s struggles."
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