Asia: Thailand

Chiang Mai Thailand (02/03/2015-03/05/2015)
We have arrived in amazing Thailand. Michelle is so overjoyed to be back in the area where she has spent so long visiting and living. We have been to the jewellery shop where she did a jewellery making course, the used book shop where she bought so many books for her trips and the night market for food. It's really nice to see her so happy.
The night market was really cool, it had a huge choice of thai dishes from all over Thailand and some regional specialities from northern Thailand. I had a special northern Thai spicy pork sausage (that's not a euphemism, so no jokes about lady boys please). It's a speciality of the region and it was delicious. Having been in Malaysia were there is no pork on the menu I picked it out straight away. Funny, that when you are denied something it makes you want it the first chance you get.
There are a lot more westerners here than in Malaysia, in fact the place is busy with backpackers all having cool adventures. We are currently in a guest house for 3 nights and we're not sure what we are going to do. There is something called a flying gibbon which looks like a tree abseil/flying fox arrangement to get view the local gibbons or a tiger sanctuary or seeing the elephants. I have a feeling we'll have a walk round the city and see the temples.
After our three nights we go to the Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep temple for a 7 day meditation course. I know, I know, I can hear you now "why would you need to do a meditation course? You are so calm and collected, never prone to rants, what have you got to be anxious about?" I hear what you're saying but knowledge is like a river it must keep flowing. So, I have signed up. I can hear you again "you'll conquer inner peace in a couple of days what are you going to do for the rest of the week?" Well, I let you know how I get on. ??

Combating crankiness
It is enviable that at some point there will be a little bit of crankiness from either party. We have devised a system that will help or counteract this event. If either of us start being cranky the other will start singing Disney's Frozen "let it go." This is incredible effective, you really think about what you are saying if the choice is complain or endure a Disney retort.

Doi Suthep Meditation centre (05/03/2015-11/03/2015)
I deliberately didn't read the small print for this part of the trip because I figured the more I know about this this less like I am to do it. I decided to just let it happen and experience the event. This was a wise decision.

The Meditation Centre
Doi Suthep is the mountain on which the temple is built and is high above Chiang Mai. You really get a great view from high up here. It is a lot cooler than the city, which is welcomed because the temperatures are climbing well into their 30s. To reach the meditation centre one must climb the 300 steps to the temple and then

climb down some 30 steps to the meditation centre. The centre itself has a main building with five levels, four dormitory buildings for meditators and a sort of chapel (not really sure what to call it, but a dedicated building for meditating). It is situated within a forest and surrounded by the living quarters for the monks. You can see glimpses of Chiang Mai through the trees. The buildings are white which gives them a clean bright feel and they are positioned on a hill. The five levels were made up of, from top to bottom, monk residences x2 (inaccessible), meditation floor, admin and teaching room, and dining room.

The Course
What follows are details of the course
The course is Vippassanna meditation.
Goals are
Purification of the mind.
Passing beyond sorrow and lamentation.
Releasing from bodily and mental pain.
Seeing the truth of life.
Ending all suffering.

Rules for meditations
Abstain from killing living beings.
Abstain from stealing.
Abstain from sexual or romantic activity.
Abstain from wrong speech.
Abstain from intoxicating drugs or alcohol.
Abstain from solid food after noon.
Abstain from diversification and beautification.
Abstain from luxurious seats and beds.

Meditator guidelines
Not allowed to mix techniques or yoga, tai chi etc.
Not allowed to smoke.
Be polite and respectful to nuns, monks and lay people at the temple.
Meditators are not to speak with each other expect when necessary.
Reading, writing, listening to music using email, or else are not allowed.
Only allowed to wear white clothing.

Daily routine
5:00 a.m wake up time.
5:30 a.m Dhamma talk.
7:00 a.m breakfast
8:00 a.m morning individual meditation
11:00 a.m Lunch
12:30 p.m afternoon individual meditation.
14:00 p.m Meditation report to teacher
18:00 p.m evening chanting
21:00 day ends.

The highlights
The highlights in case you missed them are no talking, no food after noon, 5 a.m starts, no reading, writing, email and definitely no wifi. We're here for 7 days.

What do you mean there's no wifi, just the power of aum.
Now you have been armed with the facts I can begin my commentary.
The first piece of good news was that we had the sense to leave our massive bags at the guest house which we will return to after the course. Each weigh just short of 20kgs each and shell's is a wheelie bag, which, like a (classic TV series) Dalek are totally useless on stairs. As I am outside of training season this means that a climb with a 20kg backpack would have just about finished me off. We did have with us our little backpacks which contained clothing and toiletries for the week which still proved to be a bit of a lung workout.
Arriving at the meditation centre was a bit surreal as it was very quiet and at this point we didn't know why. We waltzed into the admin block to declare our presence and I was a bit unsettled by the admin guys curt response. He gave us the form to sign and used as few words as possible, efficient but puzzling. It was only when he gave us the rules that you have read above that the penny dropped. No talking, no wonder he isn't saying much. We were booked in and left to digest the rules.
This is not just meditation people, this is hardcore meditation. To the max!, go extreme!! Which is a bit of an oxymoron if you think about it because the objective is to learn to chill out. The bottom line is that it's serious. Now, even Shell who is a keen meditator and alternative life fan is having second thoughts about this one. We are definitely having a wtf have we signed up for moment? The no talking rule has thrown her and she didn't realise that is was Vippassanna meditation. After a very brief talk about cutting it down from 7 days to 4 we decided to give it a go and to make a decision after some experience. We were given our room keys, two of them, one for me in the boys dorm and one for Shell in the girls dorm. To help us with the no romantic activity rule they had helpfully given us separate rooms nowhere near each other. As we have been married for about 7 years we have been working on this rule for a while. (joke). We walked down the hill (in silence) to our rooms, when we got to the girls block we saw our first fellow mediator, a young woman in her early 20s clutching a mug of tea (identified because she was dressed all in white) Now, I know I can exaggerate things for story telling purposes but I am not kidding when I say that this girl looked absolutely miserable. I don't know why because we couldn't ask her but this did not reassure us about our decision. From this point on this girl will be know as tea girl as we never found out her name, in normal circumstances we would have asked if were ok. Shell and I parted and headed to our rooms.

The Room
The short description is that the room is sparse. The longer answer is that it had a mattress on the floor, a pillow, two blankets, three meditating cushions, a curtain across one of the windows and that's it. No table, no chairs, no wardrobe, no TV and no air con. It was pretty big though, probably the size of a small bedroom and it was private. It would have been really tough it it was shared dorm, although it was shared bathroom facilities. One of the greatest acts of humanity of the moment was that a previous visitor had left a note in our shower (cold water only) indicating that the shower on the floor above had hot water. I was happy with my little room.

Now, I am just going to take some time to walk through the rules.

No talking
First rule of meditation club is no talking, the second rule of meditation club is sshhh.
This didn't concern me too much. After all if you put a PlayStation controller in my hand I can go hours, days, even weeks without saying a word. Unfortunately, there is not a PlayStation in sight.
It may have said no talking it did not said anything about humming, pulling funny faces or doing little dances. There are many ways to communicate and I think I was using the medium of dance to get my message across at various points in my stay.
Apparently, it was not amusing to hum the "let it go" song (quickly becoming the theme for our Asia travel experience) after a monk chat about releasing negative thoughts to alleviate suffering. Nor is funny to mimic a tofu ball flying off your plate and rolling on the floor. Shell has mastered a look which can stifle a laugh and communicate furious disapproval all in one look. Impressive. Big problem for me in these situations is giggles, I get the giggles a lot. Besides I got so excited to see shell during the day I wanted to acknowledge her presence in some way. It's easier not to talk to strangers but harder not to communicate with your wife.
It is curious that to abstain from wrong speech is to say nothing at all. I'll talk about this a bit later.

No solid food after 12
Here was the thing that got my attention the most. Only two meals a day and no solid food after 12. What was going through my head was this will be ok, lard up on a couple of burgers, maybe a meat lovers pizza at lunch it would be alright. First day the lunch bell rang I hot footed it to the dining room what would it be? Steak and kidney pie? Fish and chips?
ARGGGGGGG!!! VEGETARIAN !!!!!!! Not a pie in sight, noodle broth things, cabbage and green beans everywhere. Not quite what I had in mind. Still there was rice I had a feeling that I would be eating a lot of that in the days to come. As it turned out the food was quite nice, maybe because if you are only getting two meals a day you are grateful for food. Michelle and I also filled up on ice cream and biscuits for dessert before the 12 cut off.

The other rules
No beautification rule was pretty easy to achieve because there were no mirrors and any excuse not to shave is a good one. No problem there.
No killing things, easily achieved but surely Mosquitos are an exception to that rule. I have never stolen a thing in my life so unless hunger drives me mad this is another easy one. No alcohol is another one that is easy to abstain from.

What I thought going in
Despite the reservations I have described above I knew this would be ok. Within minutes of learning what I was in for I had worked out how I was going to approach it. I have had a lot of experience adapting to situations over the past three years and to be frank this wasn't that bad. Looking at the situation there was routine, with a static and supportive environment. Routine makes a huge difference because you can get into a rhythm. The events are sufficiently spaced throughout the day to give something to focus on to get you to the next stage. If you are hungry just focus on getting to lunch to solve the problem or monk chat to distract you. I knew hunger would be the big one but if the day ends at 7, I just went to bed early. If you are asleep you don't notice the hunger and when you awake it is almost breakfast. The big thing going in my favour here is that the environment is static there are no dynamic events. What's hard to deal with is when lots of random elements are dropped in that you have to reposition for. In fact this environment can't be more stable and everyone is in the same boat so it is supportive. It's much harder if you are on your own with no idea what is going to happen next.

Routine and meditation techniques.
We were taught the basic mediation techniques early on and told that we were able to practice in our rooms, or in the little chapel/temple or in the main meditation hall. Each day we were to have a chat with the monk and tell him how we were doing. He would then give some advice and/or the next step of the meditation technique and we would go off to practice. We were then left to our own devices to practice and attend the talks at the allotted time. The first talk was at 5:30am and the last talk finished at 7pm. Essentially, just before the sun rose and just before the sun set so by the time the talk finished it was dark. The talks were interesting and focused on providing a context for meditation techniques. We were taught a sitting meditation, a walking meditation and a technique to help you get to sleep. All three focused on mindfulness, being in the moment and breathing. They were deliberately made simple with each progression adding a very subtle element to the technique.
Our teacher was a Buddhist monk from the temple who had a wonderful character. I could attempt to try and describe how great he was but I wouldn't do him justice. Some people/situations have to be experienced and he was one of them. Short answer is that he was a wonderful teacher.
What I liked about this whole set up was the freedom and choice. It was up to the individual what they got out of the experience. There was no compulsion to stay, the whole thing was by donation given at the end so there was no financial pressure or any other type of pressure to stay. By observation I saw new recruits bend or break the rules in the beginning but as their stay progressed they embraced the experience more and more.
To me a experience that is embraced by choice is more valuable than one that is forced. If an individual is forced to do something then it is worthless because it represents someone else's values.

Pace of life
The pace of life is slow. When I first arrived I saw a lot of people all dressed in white clothing walking very slowly in an almost shambling manner. Seeing a slow shambling movement I automatically thought,
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!!
What reasonable person wouldn't but no, as I came to learn it was a walking meditation. By the end of my stay I was to join them. In fact the only time people ever seemed to be in a hurry was when the lunch bell sounded, and, like Pavlov's dog we all rushed for food.
It was also so quiet. No trains, no planes, no cars, no talking nothing. The centre was set back away from everything. On the rare occasion one of the maintenance workmen for the temple came past on a motorcycle they would cut the engine at the top of the hill and freewheel past the centre until they were just about out of earshot before starting up again. It is quite amazing how much noise the outside world makes.
I found that because everything had slowed down I was observing many things I hadn't noticed before. One thing I noticed was the passing of the day I don't think that I had ever tracked the sun through the sky before. The centre was south facing so we experienced a full days sunlight. Being up just before dawn we saw it rise, progress through the day and set as we were having monk chat in the evening. By the end I was able to roughly tell the time by the position of the sun in the sky (and the time on my phone). I even built a sun dial using twigs. It was very useful to work out optimum drying times for clothes.
I also took notice of the local wildlife which were mainly birds, lizards, and some little chipmunk like things. They were the only creatures making a noise. One day a massive hornet got into the dining area and started doing fly bys, this really tested the vow of silence thing. Shell managed to befriend a local temple dog and have a meditation companion. Actually, there were loads of dogs all grouped together as a pack. They were domesticated to the extent that they didn't harm humans but wild to the extent they followed the pack leader (another dog). In fact it is the first time I have seen dogs where the alpha wasn't a human.
Another big thing to note was that there was always smoke in the air. At this time of the year the Thai farmers burn off and the result is the air was thick with smoke. This got really bad at about six o clock. One night I was really worried about shell who was visibly struggling with her asthma. Luckily, for us it seemed to clear during the day.
The courses offered at the centre were 4, 5, 7,10 and 14 days in length for short stays, 21 days for intermediate and 13 for advanced. People could join at any time (rooms permitting) and leave when they had finished their course or when they had had enough. This had the effect of group renewal, there was a constant stream of people coming and going. The average number of people in attendance was 15 for our 7 day week. It roughly went 2 in 2 out, so there was constant movement.
Day to day everything slowed down to a snails pace.

My Mediation
I gave the meditation a good go. The amount of time I spent solely on meditation increased during the week. I would move through the locations to get a different perspective. Sometimes I would be in the main hall with other people and sometimes I would go to the chapel where it was quieter. I thought I was better at the sitting than the walking. For me the walking is too slow. Having a running background I wanted to just crack on and move it. Besides, I actually use my running as a Meditation technique anyway. I always use it to burn up negative emotion, using the energy to run faster or longer. Running takes up so much cognitive energy it naturally channels thought patterns into one avenue and onto one thing. The walking meditation requires you to focus on the rising and placing of your feet which I have done thousands of times before to improve running technique. So, I struggled with walking but did better with sitting.

What I thought about the experience
This experience was one of the most unique, special and meaning experiences of my life. The centre was quiet, calm and tranquil. After the turmoil of the last few years I appreciated the serenity and the opportunity to enjoy peace of mind. It is a source of comfort to know that there is somewhere in the world that is peaceful. How many places are there that not only give you techniques to help silence the chattering monkeys in your head but provide an environment and opportunity to alleviate personal suffering?
What surprised me was the power of silence. Being in an environment surrounded by people who said nothing really highlighted the affect other people can have with their words. In its absence you really realise how talking to people forms opinions and thought patterns.
Through the meditation I really got to experience how many random thoughts go through my head and how challenging it is to stay focused on the here and now. Try it, sit for five minutes and try and stay focused on your breathing, see how many random thoughts creep in. Although, having said this I have had a lot of practice with similar techniques in a coping context and the power of the mind for either positivity or negativity.
In case you were wondering tea girl (the miserable looking girl we first encountered) was still there but happy and smiley by the time we left.
All in all a memorable experience, now if we can just get fish and chips on the menu it'll be all good.

Leaving the centre
Leaving the centre was a surreal experience. Shell and I had spent so long not talking it felt naughty to have a chat. When you have been silent for so long you want to run to the top of the hill and shout "bum!". Unfortunately, at the top of this hill was a Buddhist temple, the most revered and respected places in Chiang Mai so that was definitely not going to happen.
We decided to have a look round Doi Suthep temple while we were there and, despite being 8:30-9:00 in the morning it was heaving with tourists. After a week of peace and tranquillity with very little human contact it was overwhelming to be surrounded by people.
We spent hours comparing experiences as we made our way back to Chiang mai. I was quite surprised about some of the difficulties and successes we had had during the week. We have also found we have been incredibly chatty with anyone who would listen.

Something special about Thailand
Leaving Chiang Mai was a little bit bitter sweet, sweet that we were going somewhere new but we are a little bit sad to be leaving Chiang Mai. There is something special about Thailand, we both felt it the moment we arrived. An atmosphere that is hard to describe, it feels like adventure, like fun, some where that is full of possibilities. I have been trying hard to work out why and I am not sure I know the answer. Maybe it's because the Thai people have a sense of fun, a twinkle in their eye or maybe it's because the Buddhist culture has embedded a respect for human life into everyday life, I just don't know. As a tourist I would never get to know the country well enough to be able to work it out. It's just really nice to experience.

Respectful travel
As we have made our way through Asia we have been talking about our impact as tourists and respectful travel. One of big things we have noticed is appropriate dress in temples. It is respectful and therefore necessary to be modestly dressed when in the temple grounds. This means shoulders and legs are to be covered and shoes removed just before entering the temple. Culturally within Thailand and Laos you usually see locals dressed by these guidelines. However, Thailand is a relaxed country so you'll see many types of clothing on the street and they understand foreigners have different expectations. On the street I think this is ok but not in the temples in my opinion. Humans like creating sacred places and whether the individual has a personal connection to the belief or not I think it is important to be respectful of their culture. It is a duty of us as guests to abide by their rules in their house. We are after all placing ourselves in their space to look at their stuff, to cover up for the 10 minutes we are there is not a big deal. So you would think but it is amazing how this simple request is too much for some people. We have had three incidents that have generated a lot of chat.
Here's incident 1, we had a big temple day when we were in Chiang Mai and visited many temples. At one of the big ones, Outside, there was loads of signs outlining the expected and appropriate dress standards. These signs were in multiple languages including English and they were reinforced with photos showing correct and incorrect dress. In addition, because this is Thailand and they are nice they were renting out sarongs for people to cover up if they wanted to go in. The bottom line was there was no ambiguity. Michelle was covered up and so was I so we had no problem getting in.
So, we are sitting there admiring the temple when from a side entrance this young woman stepped in. To give her the benefit of the doubt she did come in from a side entrance so maybe she didn't see the signs. However, she had the smallest pair of jean shorts on you have ever seen (or not seen they were that small). Within minutes one of the temple guardians was asking her to leave (very apologetically). The young woman did look genuinely surprised. There are two points to this story. One we were glad that respectful dress code was being enforced and two are people so oblivious to their surroundings?
The second incident was just as we arrived at the meditation centre. We encountered three young woman who had obviously got themselves lost somehow. They were right in the monks housing complex in short shorts and tiny tops. They achieved the full trifecta of exposed cleavage, midrift and legs. One had a corset type top on. In other circumstances i would be you beauty but not around monks who are practicing abstinence. It just seems a bit cruel. They asked us for directions and Michelle couldn't help herself. She told them where they were and how their dress was questionable given their surroundings. We also gave them directions to rectify their predicament. Again they looked genuinely surprised.
The third incident was alms giving in luang prabang Laos. This centuries old tradition involves the monks from the local temple collecting food from the local people and those who are following the Buddhist faith. The monks come out first thing in the morning and people line the streets to give. There are signs everywhere asking tourists to respect this ceremony and giving details of appropriate behaviour. Such as keep a respectable distance, don't get to close, don't give unless you are a Buddhist or it is meaningful, don't take obtrusive taking photos etc. I have to say I didn't go but shell did. I didn't go because I knew people would act poorly and I didn't want to be upset. Guess what, they did act poorly. According to shell there was this bloke who was getting right in the faces of the monks taking photos and breaking the line of monks whilst doing it. I am glad I didn't go.

This may sound a bit preachy but I think it is important to show respect in a foreign country. We are after all guests, our presence is a granted opportunity rather than a right.
In terms of religion it is important to the people who practice it. Whether you share the same beliefs or not it is important to show respect to other people's beliefs if you are entering their place of worship. I have always showed respect to the people and abided by their rules whether it was church, temple or mosque. One always has the option not to go in if they don't want to abide by the rules.
In terms of comparison would it be acceptable to walk into a church when the pastor was giving a sermon to the congregation and shove a camera in his face? Then disrupt the proceedings by moving around the church taking happy snaps and selfies.
These three incidents and others just make me think about human nature. Are people so oblivious to their own actions. Do they not know or just not care?

With inner peace now conquered (or at least understood a bit better) we are off to Laos.