Quite possibly the longest night of my life

Koh Phi Phi, Thailand, 11.08.2016

8th November 2016

Ok so here I am finally in Koh Phi Phi.

It is stunning, but I knew it would be. The down side is however, that as you soon as you dock you are greeted by the worst type of westerner - you know the chavy types, walking around the streets with their tops off flashing their toned tattooed bodies, hats on backwards, with a swag that says’ I love myself’, all the while carrying buckets full of booze. So it’s a bit tacky...

I had another band aid moment today too. Upon arriving on the docks, the guide informed me that only the bags go in the boat, but I have to walk. So I had to leave my bags with these two guys that I wasn’t even sure were MY guides. And so I had to trust in the kind nature of the people here and take a leap of faith and off I walked, leaving my luggage on the docks to be couriered by long boat to the hotel. For a split second I thought, crap, I might only end up with the clothes I am wearing. But luckily that wasn’t the case and my stuff was transferred to the hotel in one piece.

I am also not too keen on my hotel.
For starters, its miles away from the dock and is a bit of a trek. If you are even remotely physically disabled you’d be screwed.
The second reason I don’t like my hotel, is because of how basic it is. The room itself looks lovely, but it’s the basic surroundings i’m struggling with.

For starters no wifi at all. But I can get over that.
Upon arriving at my bungalow door I was greeted by 3 GINORMOUS millipedes. My bungalow is in the middle of frickin nowhere! Just trees. Lots of trees, which is lovely, however being on my own I’ve found myself being a bit sheepish as I can hear things jumping onto my roof (probably monkeys), bird noises so close they may as well be on my shoulder, and the mosquitoes are everywhere! Upside is, there is a gorgeous private beach 5 minutes from me - so at least I finally get to have a swim. And gosh – the water is so warm! But enough of that - back to my hotel situation.

All of the above I can deal with. Yes it is pretty dark here so a torch is a 100% must, and yes it takes a good 15 minutes trek up and down incredibly steep terrain in order to get to my room. However, what has freaked me the fuck out was the bathroom.
Sorry for swearing but I was actually shitting myself.

So I stripped off to have a shower, and guess what? Frogs started jumping out of - i don’t even know where! So there I was stark naked screaming my head off running around naked like a mad woman!!
It’s the kind of bathroom I expect to find a snake in - and this isn’t even the nature resort I was initially looking at! This was supposed to be the ‘safe’ option!!!!

Soooo after contemplating getting another hotel, i’ve decided to (wo)man the hell up and ride it through. Its only one night! I’m probably not going to sleep a wink though from either the paranoia,

the mosquitoes or the noise, but I know I can do this! Not sure my band aid mantra will see me through but I am trying!

I have also decided that I am not going to shower today. Sod it, I went in the sea earlier so that will have to do. I needed to shave my legs too, but for obvious reasons I can’t, so i’ve donned a pair of Thai trousers that I had initially bought for my sister as an xmas present. Sorry Emily, but this is a frog emergency!

I have also grabbed the plastic bin from the bathroom in order to wee during the night. There is no way on this earth that I am even going to open that bathroom door in the dead of night. Sooo tonight looks set to be an interesting one. I cannot wait to leave here already. I just need to make it through the night, get my butt to Long beach to see ‘The Beach’ and then get my scardy cat ass back on a boat out of here so I can check into a nice luxury hotel!

Wish me luck everyone xx

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